Grief is something that we all go through, and I got to experience it for the first time.
25th October 2021, in the morning, I lost my aunt. I planned to see her ten days before this, the day of my birthday, but I didn’t, and I have felt a sense of regret. As soon as I found out at noon on Monday, I went to her house, which hit me. She was gone. It didn’t hit me till 5 PM that she was really gone, and I will never see her again. I’ll never get to hear her say how proud she is of me, nor will I get to paint her nails as she had asked. My aunt is gone. As it is my first time experiencing a loss, I have had a mixture of emotions ever since.
Death is inevitable; there’s that feeling of ”I thought I had more time”, ”I wish I saw them one last time”, it’s a feeling that’s rather difficult to shake off because as the globe continues spinning, your whole world stops and nothing else matters. It hurts, it’s heartbreaking, and you have no choice but to keep going.
Dear Aunt Maria,
I am sorry I never got to paint your nails. I still have the pink nail vanish with me.
I am sorry I didn’t come to see you last week; I honestly thought I had more time as I’ve been planning to see you. I hope you’re not in pain anymore and are resting. I miss you truly I do, and I love you in my entirety. I promise to continue to make you proud and do everything I promised you I would do. You were a beautiful, loving, kind soul. You spoke from the heart and expressed nothing but love into me; that’s a love I never thought I needed. I am ever so grateful to have had you in my life. There’s so much I would love to say, but God knows what’s in my heart.
Rest in Peace, Aunt Maria.
I miss you & I love you,
”Mwe Lesa,napapata umfweni ukulila kwandi, ifili kumutima wandi nokusumina ama pepo yandi.”
Translation from Bemba to English – ”Dear God, please listen to my cries, what’s in my heart and accept my prayers”