(Filler Blog!)
This is probably the first summer in my life where I felt content and had genuine clarity, it was also my brokest summer but let’s not focus on that too much right now cause the money will get got. The riches and wealth is coming, wait on me!
I smiled so much, you could see my gap tooth all the way from Australia. I have been THAT happy! I can gladly say this has been my smiliest summer and you want to know why? I was intentional. After finishing therapy back in April I told myself that I will work hard to improve by slowing down, taking care of my own mental health and I did exactly that.
Most people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Depression) In the wintertime but I always experienced it in the summer over the years due to me mostly isolating myself and not making the intention. I allowed it to consume me but this time I refused. No..I literally said no because over two months ago my medication was changed and I felt myself slipping into depression again. I showed up to the doctors and said to her;
”I have no reason to feel this way, I go out, I eat healthy, I go the gym, spend time with loved ones, I am having a great summer this doesn’t make sense it’s the meds.”
..and I had my mediation changed back. A year ago I easily would have let it consume me but I reminded myself that my mind matters, my mental health matters, I matter and I refuse to be consumed by such. I told myself I deserve to have a good summer.
The main reason why you may relapse after therapy is mainly due to being too reliant on your therapist and not doing anything outside sessions. I know this because I used to do this in the past, therefore this time round I did the opposite. I simply took care of myself lovingly and thoughtfully.
I got various comments on how often I was outside but fortunately for me I don’t really care for external comments, and all that did was fuel me to be outside more often and I did exactly that. I got to see Nicki Minaj Live in Manchester, I saw Megan Thee Stallion Live in Birmingham and I went to groove. (AmaPiano Events) let’s just say, I laughed and danced A LOT this summer.
I still had health problems, I cried sometimes due to various reasons but I overcome all of that because I am the most important person in my life. For once I put myself first, for once I took care of myself. I have had to face myself and ask myself ”Is this who I truly am?” ”Is this my mindset? and am I okay with it?” ”What can I do be better?” I would check in with myself often.
Different Ways I Improved my mental health this Summer
- Journaling (I finished my journal and started a whole new one mid June)
- Gave myself something to look forward to (I made plans with my friends, went to concerts or ordered myself a treat whenever I could afford to)
- Exercise (I made the gym my friend…still working on it but it helped a lot, especially dancing, oh how I love to dance)
- Alone time (I made time to purely focus on my feelings and emotions. I can be emotional and sensitive therefore I needed more time to care for myself)
The best version of me is the woman I am today. I am not even the same person I was 4 months ago. I am definitely still learning, I am only 26 after all…(27 on the 15th of October write it down!) I am still meeting myself, falling deeper in love with myself and God it feels amazing.
When you start to treat yourself like the King of the Sky, like the Emirates Airbus A380 instead of a mere A320, you begin to put yourself at a high standard and value yourself more. Of course I am not perfect, no one is, but like I always say the longest relationship you’ll ever have in this life is the one with yourself. So why not care for yourself more?
Autumn/ Winter is coming soon and I can only hope to extend my smiles even further. I desire nothing but contentment, …definitely a deeper wallet but nothing beats clarity.
Here’s to falling deeper in love with ourselves and extending smiles all around!
Words By Mul 