Comparing ourselves. We’ve all done it at some point in our lives and some may still do it. The definition of comparison:
”A consideration or estimate of similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people”
What types of things do we compare ourselves to?
- Popularity/ Social Status
The reason why we do this is because we want more and better for ourselves which isn’t a bad thing because we desire constant happiness. Value yourself in a way that no one can, not from objects or people because if you give something the power to value you, it has the power to also devalue you. It’s nice to be affirmed by others but attaching yourself to someone is the quickest way to lose. Comparing ourselves can either be destructive or active. Active when we feel inspired as our skills will improve and from that we have good intentions, destructive when it brings us down. Jealousy is the thief of joy and I’m saying this from experience. Did it make me feel better? No. But did I keep scrolling on their page? Yes because I was senseless.
Comparing ourselves is normal but have you sat down noticed that when you compare yourself to someone it’s usually someone similar to you? Age, Sex and social status why? That’s because our worlds are similar and those with a greater status are not comparable.
” The theory of comparison says that we fix our own personal and social worth based on how we place ourselves against others.” – Leon Festinger
We humans have an innate drive to find our exact worth in society. We either take comparisons as motivation and make ourselves feel better or take it as a challenge for superiority. There’s no better feeling than being content and focusing on yourself yes I know cliché, but should you really be focusing on other people’s day to day lives? You should be trying to work on your own path, what’s missing? Prolonged comparison only leads to envy, guilt, defensiveness and mere unfulfilled cravings, so therefore what is missing?
The truth is in life it may seem that someone is always doing better than us however we don’t know what they did to get that far therefore we can’t always compare. The main focus is looking forward and have gratitude for what you have done for ourselves, be inspired and try the hardest to be optimistic. I’m still learning this, I have my moments and this is something I need to remember. The only person you should compare yourself to is your past self.