”I wish somebody would come and ease my troublin’ mind…why won’t somebody come and ease my troublin’ mind?” I sing along to Sam Cooke, as I try finding different ways to fill the uncomfortable feeling of loneliness with various distractions. I can’t help but also think of the 2008 movie Joker (The Dark Knight) quote when he says:
2020 was terrible and I chose to give myself time away from blogging in hopes I would come with a fresher mind but to no avail. I feel the same but this time, I’ve accepted it. That’s the first step of recovery right? Acceptance. Loneliness, Anxiety, unemployment, Covid-19, heartbreak, sadness…just to name a few. That’s what 2021 has been for me so far and we are only 2 months in, some problems of course from that devilish year 2020 and it’s hard but it feels harder because I have no one else to turn to, I am lonely and I feel alone.
I’m still young but I feel a lot has been taken away from me, I am sure some people may feel the same way, it doesn’t really matter what age. I don’t want to seem ungrateful, I am. I am just having a really hard time and I am supposed to be an ”Adult”, I feel no such thing! Logically non of this will matter in a few months to a year but right now it matters to me. I am important and I matter. Like a filler episode to a tv show, this filler blog is me allowing myself to be vulnerable and saying ”I am struggling and I feel alone”, yes ”This too shall pass” but until then, I choose to be open and honest. I hope to one day be in a better place, look back at this and be in disbelief because I am confident this is temporary.
And if you haven’t been affected by the last year or the new year so far, congratulations. You have beat the odds and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it, take advantage and continue to grow in happiness.
I just wish somebody would come and ease my troublin’ mind…